Laetitia

I was on a plane headed for San Diego when I heard he was nearing his last moments. I had been scheduled to attend a conference as an book exhibitor and I was on a jetBlue plane watching all of those last moments on a small TV screen on the seat in front of me.

The last place I wanted to be was in another city working. I wanted to have the time to grieve at home in a familiar place. But that was not as it occurred.  I remember setting up our book booth in a complete mental fog with a couple of colleagues. I dreaded that they might mention his death for fear of getting emotional with colleagues. As it turned out, they did mention it in passing. And it was actually sneering.

Alone in my hotel room, I remember being shaken with grief and insight at the same time. The insight was that I was meant to be where I was, that it was more important to be present as a witness than to isolate myself. I was able, as it turned out, to offer a few remarks that were honest and heartfelt. I found that those who were not Catholic suddenly had questions that I was happy to answer.

Let me be clear and say that that nothing remarkable was said in those exchanges. However, I was not bashful about my faith, and I was fortunate to be able to be present to answer questions about my faith. That was a privilege that I will not forget and that I consider be John Paul II’s last personal gift. It was because of this experience that I felt prompted to do more though I did not know then that it was a prompting again toward the Secular Franciscan Order. That, however, is another post entirely.

And where were you?

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